How Can I Tell my Spouse I Want a Divorce?

woman-sitting-in-coffee-shopYour heart knows it is time.  Your brain knows it is time.  But you have been unable to share with your spouse that you want a divorce.

Here are some suggestions we share with our clients to help facilitate this problematic conversation:

  • Be 100% sure you want a divorce!
    • Don’t start this conversation if you have any doubts or are unsure
    • Words once said, leave an imprint on the heart and mind
  • Speak with a professional first
  • Play out the conversation beforehand
    • How will your spouse react?
      • Will they be blindsided, share your sentiment, or be angry and try to talk you out of it?
    • Prepare for the “ending conversation” to help with ending the dialogue
  • Be gentle but firm
  • Don’t play the blame game
  • Reassure them that you want to work together for a fair agreement
  • Avoid the details
  • Be a passive and compassionate listener

Having this conversation with your partner sets in motion a series of life-changing events that will cause a significant shift in your family dynamics.  If you have any questions, attending our Divorce Options Workshop is a great way to start.

Utilizing the Collaborative divorce process, an alternative dispute resolution method can help you begin this awkward conversation with your spouse and help maintain your family unit while staying away from court litigation.

The Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego is a nonprofit, multi-disciplinary referral network of independent professionals of attorneys, mental health professionals and financial advisors working together to learn, practice, and promote Collaborative processes for problem solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial, assets of the family.

Contact us today to see how we can help advise you on how to begin your divorce dialogue with your spouse.

Our Divorce Options Workshop takes place on the first Saturday of every month and is open to all individuals and couples contemplating separation or divorce.  Visit here for the schedule and to register.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or medical advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, medical or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.


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