When you are in the middle of getting divorced and have kids, if you are not careful, they can have a stressful holiday vacation.
It is not healthy for a child to be thrust into the middle of a divorce and forced to pick sides or choose who they stay with during the Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations.
But, when you choose the collaborative divorce process, you and your spouse will work through the holiday vacation plan together, each working to stay out of court and work in a way that keeps your children’s well-being in mind.
During a collaborative divorce, both sides work together with their lawyers, divorce coaches, a financial neutral, and a child specialist. The goal is to finalize the divorce and restructure the family unit to co-parent successfully.
Here are some thoughts to keep in mind as you and your spouse work through a holiday vacation schedule you both can agree to:
- Don’t use your children as pawns or disparage each other
- Ask your children what they would like to see happen
- Consider sharing present opening time only if you can get along in front of the children, the key is this time should be enjoyable for the children
- Plan the holidays in advance so there will be no last-minute surprises to add to the stress
Parents need to keep their child’s best interests foremost in their minds to have a successful holiday visitation. Children usually do not usually object to opening gifts on more than one occasion! Keep in mind whether you are trying to meet their needs or yours.
The Collaborative Practice of San Diego is a nonprofit, multi-disciplinary referral network of independent professionals of attorneys, mental health professionals and financial advisors working together to learn, practice, and promote Collaborative processes for problem solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues in regard to co-parenting, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial assets of the family.
Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or medical advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, medical or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.