How to Manage the Stress and Anxiety of Divorce

By Shawn Skillin, Esquire

Divorce is a big, huge, significant, and stressful life transition. It’s not a transition that most people plan for. Whether you asked for the divorce yourself or were surprised by a request for a divorce from your spouse there is change ahead and change produces stress and anxiety.  You may not be sleeping well, eating well or thinking clearly.  Many clients describe themselves as less productive at work, forgetful and feeling as if they living in a fog.  How do you make important life decisions when you are experiencing all of these things.

Five Tips for Coping with Divorce:

1- Breathe!  Anxiety has been described as worry without breath. So, if you start to feel anxious take a few slow, deep breaths. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Close your eyes, concentrate on the breathing.

2- Eat, Sleep, and Hydrate: Take care of your body. We can’t think clearly if we are hungry, thirsty, and tired. Even if you aren’t hungry, snack on something healthy several times a day. Keep a bottle of water handy and drink it!  Try to create a consistent bedtime and wake up time.

3- Schedule Divorce Time: Don’t let the divorce consume you! Set a time each day to think about the divorce, cry about the divorce, work on the divorce chores, respond to emails, texts and calls from your soon to be Ex. This will help you to not dwell on the divorce all day. Make sure this is not scheduled right before bedtime.

4- Get Information: Information is power. Don’t make decisions until you know what your options are. Take your time, these are important decisions that will affect your life for some time. Attend a Divorce Options class, consult with an attorney, talk to a divorce financial expert (CDFA), arm yourself with information! It’s ok to say “I need to think about It”, or “I need more information before I make a decision.”

5- Develop a Support System: You need emotional support during this time. You need a person, or two or three, to keep you centered. This should be someone who will keep you calm and not rile you up. Someone who will keep your confidence and help you keep your mind calm and your feet on the ground. Divorce Coaches are available to help you manage your emotions, identify your goals, and learn to communicate effectively during the divorce process.

Divorce fought out in court, compound the anxiety related to divorce. Consider resolving your divorce through Mediation or a Collaborative Divorce.

The Collaborative Practice San Diego is a nonprofit, multi-disciplinary referral network of independent professionals of attorneys, mental health professionals and financial advisors working together to learn, practice and promote Collaborative processes for problem-solving and the peaceful resolution of family law issues in regard to co-parenting, with an eye toward preserving the emotional, as well as the financial assets of the family.

Contact us today for a FREE CONSULTATION to see how we can help you navigate how you and your spouse can handle your home mortgage during your divorce process.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as legal/financial/tax/or medical advice. You should work with your attorney, financial, medical or tax professional to determine what will work best for your situation.


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