Here, Collaborative Practice San Diego considers 3 top reasons why couples split after they reach age 50 and why they’re eager to have a new lease on life.
They Grow Apart
Even if you once shared common interests, you may suddenly discover that you have grown apart. One of the spouses may be going through some transformations or evolving in numerous ways, while the other spouse may stay in a place where she or he feels at ease. The children have often left home and if the children were a couples common thread, that connection is also lost. Partners may be left staring at each other as if they were strangers. Of course, there may be additional reasons why a couple no longer has things in common, yet all of them wind up ruining a relationship.
Age, Aging and Age Differences
As the partners age, one may age psychologically faster than the other. The younger feeling spouse may feel disconnected to the spouse who is feeling their age. Aging alone isn’t as scary as acting old because the latter makes the other spouse feel old. One spouse may in fact, be again faster than the other with health issues and declining physical and mental capabilities. This can be difficult to weather as a couple, if bonds were already strained. In addition, some couple may have a large difference in their ages. In the beginning this was not a problem, but as they age, it may become more of an issue if each partner can’t relate to what the other is going through. One may be ready to retire, while the other is at the peak of their career.
One of You Is Having a Midlife Crisis
People in their 50s often face a “midlife crisis” and must handle substantial inner transformations. Both a husband and wife may abruptly reveal that their identity is dramatically changing, as if they are being renewed on a deep level.
If it is your spouse who’s going through a midlife crisis, keep in mind that it may be difficult to influence their decisions during this phase of their life. Even if you want to help, try and avoid offering unsolicited advice. You may be viewed as a parental figure trying to hold them back. A role that often is not appreciated by the spouse going through the transformation.